Offline copy: Sunday, June 18th: Lassen Volcanic National Park

I had the privilege this morning of an entire hour all to myself in the middle of nowhere.  I LOVE the daylight hours of the west.  The sun is up earlier and it makes it so much easier to get out of bed (I am NOT a good morning person, but I really do love that time before the kids get up).  While everyone slept I made myself some tea, grabbed a chair and hiked up to the viewpoint we admired at sunset last night.

The wildflowers, the quiet, and the gorgeous Mt. Lassen on one side and Mt. Shasta on the other as I enjoyed my tea and read my Bible was overwhelming.  I was struck by the blessing of Creation and it’s gift to us for our enjoyment.  What kind of God loves His people so much that he cares enough to create such beautiful things for us?  His goodness is amazing.  I was also so grateful to be on this trip.  Now that things have settled down and we got through the Midwest and Nevada, I had a chance to contemplate the amazing fact that we were even able to make this trip a reality.  When we first moved to WNC 8 years ago and started up our little farm we were BROKE.  I could barely afford clothes and shoes for everyone.  And then we had Moriah.  I had to be careful about the number of trips I took each week so I didn’t spend grocery money on gas.  And then we had Zipporah.  It was a hard stretch.

We are far from wealthy but we are in a much better place.  I praise the Lord for getting us through that time and bringing us to this place where we have been able to make our dream a reality.  I can hardly believe it and I really feel humbled that He would allow it.  We are stewards of His provision for us.  And we make choices with our money.  Nothing is every bought new.  We do everything we can possibly do for ourselves, for ourselves. YouTube helps a lot with that.  I cut everyone’s hair, including my own and Tim cut’s his own.  I only purchase clothing new if we need something specific I can’t find in a thrift store.  If we can’t find it on Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist, we don’t buy it.  We have been remodeling our house for 100 years now with no end in sight because we are constantly prioritizing other things over a nicer house.  If it’s functional, we just go with it.  (I do insist at points that “all I want for Christmas is for you to trim in that window or put a sink in the new bathroom” or something to that effect just to get SOMETHING done… but normally we end up sinking our money into things like septic systems and fencing for goats.).

Anyway, Lassen’s beauty did not disappoint. However, we were soooo disappointed to hear that a large portion of the park was still closed bc it is still under 9 feet of snow! The Bumpus Hell Trail, one trail we all were really excited about for its boardwalk through volcanic activity - boiling water, bubbling mud, steaming landscape, was closed :(. We were at around 5000 feet and Bumpus trail was at 8200 feet! Sadness. So plan B, we walked around Manzanita Lake and planned to hike the Cinder Cone, a few of the trails left open.

Manzanita Lake was beautiful and it was the site of the homesteader Benjamin Franklin Loomis who lived here with his wife and daughter in the 1900’s. In 1914 and 1915, Lassen had two eruptions and Loomis was able to catch both on camera, using the old-fashioned change-the-slide-for-every-photo kind of camera! It was the first volcanic eruption ever to be caught on camera! The second eruption caused a mudslide that devastated thousands of acres.

The Cinder Cone is a remnant of a volcano

that erupted back in 1650. It’s the classic steep sided triangle every kids draws when they imagine a volcano. The hike to the base was about a mile, but the hike to the top was 750ft at a 30-35 degree angle. Hiking in what basically equated to black, gravelly sand. In heavy winds. You know how most of the time things don’t look too steep until you actually start the climb and then you realize just how steep it is? This LOOKED steep. The girls were not excited about the idea but we insisted we were all going. When would we

have the chance to hike into a cinder cone ever again? I started with Zip on my back in the carrier - I usually leave Tim free to piggy back Moriah if needed. I learned a few things on this hike:

1. I will never, ever complain about hiking up our own little mountain

2. Zip is a lot heavier than she was last year

3. I have a slight fear of heights.

It was fine until about halfway up. I had mostly focused on one step at a time, keeping my feet in other foot steps to make it easier - kind of like walking in deep snow. Somewhere in the middle I began to look around and something

about the angle of the slope contrasted

against the landscape, the wind blasting us, and the sheer drop off the side and the slope behind me if I cast a backward glance to check on a kid. I felt that hot feeling that rises in your chest, a lightheadedness and even a little nausea. I pushed it down and moved on. Surely it was nothing. But as we got higher, the feeling rose in my throat. I realized I simply could not look out, keeping my eyes down on the path ahead of me was the only way forward. We took a rest and the last thing I wanted was to betray to my kids that I was uneasy - and suddenly have 7 kids panic alongside me. I watched a few others coming and going up the hill, I noted that there had been no posted warning of people falling to their death on this hike - hundreds of people hiked this everyday. It was irrational fear I kept telling myself. It did NOT help when Malachi exclaimed, “Mom! I just threw a rock over the edge and you should see how long it took it to fall to the bottom!” … Thanks Malachi. But sitting down was the worst thing. Moving forward was the only thing to do. The hot feeling rose but I looked at my feet and took another step and then another. About 100 feet from the top I had the distinct feeling that I was on the crest of a rollercoaster hilltop. That heady feeling that I was just about to go over the tip and lose all sense of gravity. I went down on my knees to “rest”. Micah came up to me “Mom, let me take Zippy.” He said it about 4 times while I contemplated taking the one thing on my back that made me feel like I wasn’t going to fly off the mountain with the wind. But since I couldn’t explain that to him and he felt like I was overtired, I handed her and the pack over. My legs had a weak shaky feeling that was unsettling. Tim came alongside me and I shored that I was struggling with vertigo. He stood between me and the edge and I grabbed his hand for the last 100 feet. Sweet hubby of mine. Apparently it was about the same grip I gave him when I was in labor with the babies. As soon as we crested the top and there was a level surface before us, I immediately felt better. Even with a looming hole about 400 feet down in front of us, I felt much safer. Tim had his pulse back. We didn’t let Micah talk around the rim after watching an older man struggle to keep his balance against the heavy winds. No. Way. But seeing the crater, the incredible 360 view of Lassen and the cinder fields below, it was quite the feeling of accomplishment.

I have had a little of that feeling on those extension ladders painting the crests of our house or helping dad nail roof shingles as a kid, I’ve climbed all kinds of mountains and walked high bridges, looked down the sides of cliffs and canyons and never have I experienced that sense of irrational panic before. Bizarre.

Going down was thankfully not too bad. The sense of going down was comforting. I still hugged the side of the mountain and Tim stayed on the outer edge, but the sense of panic was gone, my legs stood firmly beneath me again and we made it to the bottom safely. It was then that I told me kids I’d almost lost it and Micah said, “Yeah, I thought you were having a heart attack when you went down on your hands and knees like that.” Crisis averted. We walked back to the car.

We hurried around to get our campsite ready for impending rain that night and so we could head on our way the next morning. The dark clouds were approaching but it never came to anything until we were just about to pull out the next morning. Crater Lake is next!